REMEMBER: Only for fun!

“Silent Timer” Kills Local Business

By someone from The Princeton Review in College Station, Texas

Only for fun!

Snook, TX —

Ray’s Timer De-Beepery in downtown Snook, open since 1994, closed its doors for the final time today.  Ray Arnold, proprietor, told reporters and gathered Snookians that the closure was caused by the arrival in College Station of the new “Silent Timer,” so titled because it is a timer that, allegedly, makes no noise.   

“Them ‘Silent Timers’ is what forced me out,” Arnold said.  “Of course, I was barely makin’ it as it was.  They ain’t much call for timer de-beepin’, and when folks found out that all I was doin’ was snippin’ the speaker wire, they pretty much started doin’ it themselves, so you don’t get a whole lot of repeat business.”

When asked about his future plans, Arnold said, “Well, I don’t rightly know, but they’s gotta be something out there for a man with a itty-bitty screwdriver, a pair of wire cutters, and the know-how to use ‘em right.”